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And it seems that almost every time I try to do something to make it better (shower, food, walk, steamy beverages, etc.), I end up feeling worse :(
A Malaysia Airlines flight carrying 227 passengers and 12 crew lost contact with air traffic controllers early on Saturday en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing, the airline said in a statement.
"Malaysia Airlines is currently working with the authorities who have activated their search-and-rescue teams to locate the aircraft," it said.
Flight MH 370, operating a Boeing B777-200 aircraft departed Kuala Lumpur at 12.21 a.m. (1621 GMT Friday) and had been expected to land in the Chinese capital at 6.30 a.m. (2230 GMT) the same day.
The airline said the flight had lost contact with Malaysian air traffic controllers at 2.40 a.m., just over two hours into the flight.
China’s CCTV said 160 Chinese nationals were onboard the flight, according to microblogging website Weibo.
Chinese state TV also reported there had not been any reports received yet about any aircraft crashed in Chinese waters.
State news agency Xinhua reported radar contact with the flight was lost while it was in Vietnamese airspace.
If the plane is found to have crashed, the loss would mark the second fatal accident involving a Boeing 777 in less than a year, after an unblemished safety record since the jet entered service in 1995.
Last summer, an Asiana Airlines Boeing 777 crash landed in San Francisco, killing three passengers.
Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.
This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.
I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.
I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.
As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.
I feel like a good indicator of if someone around my age has a background or experience similar to mine - cultural touchpoints, if you will - is if they, too, have multiple now-unused piercings in their ears or nose.
kate-kitty asked: Do you have any advice on writing a character with a mental illness with no firsthand experience with said illness?
Research research research research talk to people with experience with the illness research research research get feedback from people with experience with the illness research research research *DEEP BREATH* research
Ugh. I hate when this piece of advice is handed out to readers with no caveats or explanations attached. It’s crap.
First response should be that you, writer person, need to sit the fuck down and really think hard about why you’re writing about a person with an illness you don’t have. As a mentally ill person and a writer, I’m telling you that this needs to be step number one. You need to examine your motives. Is the illness an organic, developed facet of a fully rounded character or is a plot device that creates the kind of drama you want without you having to work for it. Is it your way of short handing and shading in characterization without having to write it. Are you using it to show evilness, helplessness, innocence, tragedy, comedy, being super magical? Because I’ve read those stories and they piss me off every time.
When you do get to the research, somebody needs to inform you that there’s not just one stage of it. You need to research your research. And then you need to research so that you can do the next stage of research right.
Meaning? Read a lot of shit and take a lot of time with it because going to other human beings with your hand out is a whole other ballgame and you better sure as fuck do it respectfully and appropriately.
Do not corner some poor soul who you discovered to have an illness or the one you’re writing about and chase the down and say: “Hey, you, over there. You’re crazy. Tell me what crazy is like because I’m writing a thing.” Do not fucking reduce us to your personal vending machine of wisdom. Do not reduce us to our mental illnesses because that’s all you’re interested in.
Do not track Tumblr tags, run down people who are just writing personal posts that get maybe five likes and a reblog, and then drop this crap in their ask boxes. Don’t creepily follow them just to get the goods on their illness, not caring one whit about how they’d feel or them as a person. That’s shitty on all possible levels.
And do not just cut and paste. Do not just read a few things and decide to weave that into your story as if it’s enough, as if it’s not a kind of stealing. Don’t do this just to collect people’s stories and mish mash them into something that makes you feel like your story is now authentic.
When you do phase one research, you should do it well enough that when it comes time to do phase two (talking to real humans), you know where to go and where NOT to go, and you know what NOT to ask because it’s been asked a million times before.
By the time you get through with the non-interactive part of research, you should know better. You should be able to find blogs that specifically exist to ANSWER QUESTIONS about the topic and the questions you ask should not be 101 level questions. You need to be listening to the deep cuts from the album by the time you start talking to ANYONE.
During all this research don’t ever lose your humility. Seriously. And be aware that if you’re neurotypical/not ill, you WILL get criticism but you will also still get more credibility with other neurotypical/not ill people than actually mentally ill people get for the same thing. People will listen to an outsider who doesn’t live this more than to someone like me who does. That’s shitty as hell. Acknowledge that always.
And when you do get kick back, take it. I don’t care if it’s a body blow to your damn ego, take it. Accept it, learn from it, and take it. And don’t argue with it. As a writer, it’s a good idea NEVER EVER to argue with any criticism or critique and a pretty good one never to even respond to them. Let people’s reading of something be their reading and don’t even get into it with them.
No one ever changed my mind about a book I didn’t like by arguing with me, including authors. I’ve had this happen. Indeed, it cements my assertion that the book is lousy and the author lousier.
So just fucking be aware it isn’t about research so you get a science problem right. It’s people’s lives and minds and bodies and lived realities. Research is an act of humility, and admission that you don’t know and never will completely know the way someone who lives this does but you want to get as close as you can, and it is an admission that you know you owe this work, this respect, this dedication to making sure you don’t further stereotypes or convince people of a lie. Research is saying: “You’re the experts here and therefore I should make sure I’m prepared before I step even one little toe onto your turf.”
THAT’S my advice on writing a character with a mental illness.
The thing about writing is that you have to take responsibility for it, and the thing about responsibility is that it’s fractally recursive: you look at it from a distance, and then you move in closer and see a whole ‘nother level that looks the same as the first, and then you zoom in, and you see another level…
When you decide to write about an experience you don’t have, you’re taking responsibility for this decision. At the outside level, this means that if you screw up, you have no one to blame but yourself. You’re responsible for any harm your writing causes to others. You’re responsible for any criticism that comes your way. You’re responsible.
So you take the time to research. That’s the next level of taking responsibility. This doesn’t mean you’re no longer accountable, though. You’re still accountable. You’re still responsible for any harm you do. You’re still responsible for criticism that results from that harm.
So you run your writing by individuals with direct experience. That’s another level of taking responsibility. Again, it doesn’t mean that you’re no longer accountable. You’re still responsible for the outcome of your writing.
It’s infinitely fractal. You can always go deeper. You can always try harder. You can always do better. And you’re still always ultimately responsible.
So the question isn’t, “What’s the bare minimum I need to do in order to be safe?”
It’s, “Am I prepared to accept responsibility for what I write?” If the answer is no, then do more work until you reach a level it becomes yes… or else write something else.
Day 6 of White History Month: Anti-Semitism in the College Admissions Process
[Images: Jerome Karabel, The Chosen: The Hidden History of Admission and Exclusion at Harvard, Yale, and Princeton]
“The creation of a new system of admissions occurred in the midst of one of the most reactionary moments in American history – a few years in the first half of the 1920s defined by rising xenophobia and anti-Semitism, widespread political repression, the emergence of the Ku Klux Klan as a genuine mass movement, the growing prominence of eugenics and scientific racism, and the imposition by Congress of a racially and ethnically biased regime of immigration restriction. Many of the features of college admissions with which we are all familiar – the emphasis on “character”, the preference for alumni suns and athletes, the widespread use of interviews and photos, the reliance on personal letters of recommendation, and the denigration of applicants whose sole strength is academic brilliance – have their roots in this period” – Jerome Karabel, The Chosen: The Hidden History of Admission and Exclusion at Harvard, Yale, and Princeton
“[S]tudies have found that racists hold two types of stereotyped beliefs: They believe the out-group is dirty, lazy, oversexed, and without control of their instincts (a typical accusation against blacks), or they believe the out-group is pushy, ambitious, conniving, and in control of business, money, and industry (a typical accusation against Jews)” – Charles R. Lawrence III, “The Id, the Ego, and Equal Protection: Reckoning with Unconscious Racism”
The origins of the college interview, letters of recommendation, and extracurricular activities have a common origin: anti-Semitism. The modern college admissions process came from efforts to keep Jewish students out of elite universities. An emphasis on holistic qualities that is despised by many white elites today was developed and supported in order to reject Jewish applicants.
In the 1800’s, elite universities such as Harvard drew from feeder schools – elite private schools that only the wealthy could attend, like Choate and St. Paul’s. Requirements for admission included Latin and Greek, which could hardly be met by the average student. By the turn of the century, several presidents from Ivy League universities were concerned that their universities were disproportionately educating the elite, and sought to attract public school students. Students were ineligible to apply if Black and/or female, but as long as they could perform well on an admissions exam, white middle and working-class boys were welcome.
This had unintended results for elite universities: by the early 1900s, Jewish students were disproportionately represented in many American universities.
Harvard’s Jewish population went from seven percent in 1900 to 22% in 1922. Universities in New York - with a large Jewish population - had the largest increases in Jewish applicants. By 1919, about 80% of students at CCNY and Hunter College were Jewish. Columbia’s Jewish population had reached 40% of its student body, leading to many among the white Protestant elite deciding to go to Harvard, Yale, and Princeton (and resulting in a college song in the image above). Columbia instituted a quota of 22% and began to require photographs of students be submitted.
Anti-Semitism in Elite University Admissions
At many elite universities, fellow students even complained that Jewish students were not sociable enough, were too competitive, and did not have good character. It was extremely difficult to justify anti-Semitic reasons to keep Jewish students out, so these universities needed to find a way to create discriminatory policies that specifically targeted Jewish applicants.
Harvard, Yale, and Princeton - seeking to avoid Columbia’s fate - devised ways to institutionalize anti-Semitism in their admissions. Generally, they created ways to examine an applicant’s “character”.
Harvard decided to examine “character” through a letter of recommendation. It also created an application that asked questions about the applicant’s “race and color”, father’s birthplace and mother’s maiden name.
During this period, Yale had stopped giving scholarships to Jewish students in order to discourage them from attending. In order to avoid appearing discriminatory, Yale sought to find factors that could make their decision look as if it were based in merit. This backfired, however, and Jewish enrollment rose to record high levels.
Yale then went beyond what Columbia had done and required photographs not only of the applicant, but of his father. Like Harvard, “personality and character” would be taken into consideration. Yale also decided to give strong preferences to sons of alumni, which further decreased the Jewish enrollment. Legacy admissions preferences essentially serve the same purpose today as they did in the 1920’s.
Princeton hoped that the anti-Semitism among the student population would dissuade Jewish students from attending. Jewish students were largely rejected from eating clubs and thus unable to enjoy full participation in undergraduate life. This was not enough - Princeton decided to look for “character”. Princeton did not just want bookish nerds - Princeton men were to be rugged, masculine leaders. The characteristics that were preferred were often constructed to exclude Jewish students based on stereotypes.
These efforts were effective: Jewish enrollment dropped significantly for decades.
The college application process had previously been much less rigorous, but anti-Semitism was enough to create admissions offices and lengthy applications. Demographic information, a personal essay, the college interview, recommendation letters from alumni or trusted officials, and extracurricular activities became part and parcel of the admissions process for elite universities.
And then, of course, a Jew managed to create a system for teaching the supposedly ‘objective’ ‘IQ-measuring’ standards of the SAT, which again dramatically altered who could meet entrance requirements (which in turn led to a further enhancement of the role of in-person interviews, and new limitations on scholarships).
…think about a term like ‘welfare queen’ or ‘food stamp president.’ On one level, like a dog whistle, it’s silent. Silent about race. It seems race-neutral. But on another, it also has a shrill blast, like a dog whistle, that can be heard by certain folks. And what the blast is is a warning about race and a warning, in particular about threatening minorities. And the idea that I’m trying to get across here is, racism has evolved. Or, in particular, public racism has evolved. The way in which racism, the way in which racial divisions are stoked in public discourse has changed. And now it operates on two levels. On one level, it allows plausible deniability. This isn’t really about race, it’s just about welfare. Just about food stamps. And on another, there’s a subtext, an underground message which can be piercingly loud, and that is: minorities are threatening us. And so when people dog whistle about criminals, welfare cheats, terrorists, Islam, Sharia law, ostensibly they’re talking about culture, behavior, religion, but underneath are these old stereotypes of degraded minorities, but also, and this is important, implicitly of whites who are trustworthy, hard-working, decent.
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Remember how I mentioned having forgotten to get new prescriptions for a week or so? I got them yesterday, but forgot to drop them off to be filled. I have not yet done so. I am out of anti-depressant #1. I STILL have not gotten my ass into the shower (I smell), much less into clothes and out of the house, and I’m not sure I can. I feel like shit, too, which is making everything 1000x more awful.
This is why I always refill my drugs a week early, and why it’s really really fucked up that I kept fucking it up the day of my last dose.
And I have a headache and haven’t done any of the work I need to do since Sunday night.
Lea Salonga is currently affiliated with a new musical called Allegiance that is trying to make it to Broadway. It’s a musical near and dear to my heart about the experience of a Japanese American family through events just prior and through World War II, focusing in particular on the Internment- essentially my family history.
I would love it if more people got interested it, because this bit of history is too important to forget, and simply because the musical is amazing- I was lucky enough to see an early production of it in San Diego which reduced me to tears. So to promote it here on tumblr, here’s one of my favorite songs from the show, recently made available in a new mini-EP you can get on iTunes and Amazon. Enjoy.
This is incredibly odd, as I keep my nails quite short; there’s not much there to break! I think they might be brittler than usual?
Not sure if this would appeal to you, but I’ve done nail soaks where I mix egg white, a bit of olive oil and honey together and then soak my nails in it for a few minutes. I’ve found it helpful.
Well, that would necessitate finding a use for the extra yolk, such as in a cream sauce… So yes, I am quite willing to give it a try!
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